Untitled

Big Purple Mommy: Nurturing Our Creative Work, Our Children, and Ourselves
By Coleen Hubbard
(Perigree Books, 2001
ISBN 0-399-52662-5)

In our collective mythology, artists dwell in the fringes of sanity. We nod sagely at the stories of Van Gogh's psychosis, Emily Dickinson's' depression, Steinbeck's alcoholism, and ballet dancers everywhere suffering from eating disorders. The implication is that artistic genius comes from great anguish. We honor the starving, insane artists and consider those not exhibiting anti-social behavior s not true artists.

So what's a car-pooling mother of three supposed to do with her creative juices? According to Coleen Hubbards' new book, Big Purple Mommy, we're supposed to throw out the myths and get down to work -painting, sculpting, writing, dancing and playing our way through motherhood. We can be creative and be caretakers and not be crazy.

We can do both, Hubbard claims, though we have many obstacles both from within and from without to work through. Hubbards' personal epiphany came one day as she was picking up her youngest daughter from preschool and mentally berating herself for trying to be a playwright. Her daughter gave her a picture, "It's you Mommy," she told her as Hubbard took in the drawing of a "towering, vivid woman in a bright purple dress standing beneath a rainbow…she was taller than the trees…she was smiling-a slightly crooked and zany smile." For Hubbard, the drawing meant that even though she was depressed and exhausted, her daughter recognized the creative, imaginative part of her and she knew then, that she could be that a Big Purple Mommy, in fact she already was a Big Purple Mommy. Not that her work suddenly became easy, it didn't. But it did become a commitment she was wiling to stand for, reaching to the sun.

Hubbard's book is divided into eleven chapters, each one grabbing one of the obstacles by the horns. She talks about the time thing, the money thing, the need for support, the need for self-care, the need for work space, the reality of balancing family life with a creative life, and the sad fact that mothers who create often have to hide one or the other of their passions (kids or art) in the community. Hubbard defines the women she is discussing as mothers who are artists in the traditional sense. She acknowledges that raising kids is in and of itself a creative act but it is not the same as writing a play. Mothers who are also artists are not by definition crazy. They are answering a soul call, like all who are drawn to the artists/ dancer/ musician/writers way. And to not answer the call can eat at our spirits, and then we can fall into the shadows of depression, addiction, and psychosis.

Throughout the book, Hubbard shares the stories of other mother's struggles with the diaper/ designer dilemma and offers "Wise Words" from them on how they actually managed to do both. Hubbard also talks about what she calls "The Stroller Years" as being the hardest for the artist within. Part of her message is that creativity is not just the writing or the painting or the playing, but it also requires a certain amount of what she calls daydreaming as the inner visions take shape. It's very hard to dream into a project when the kids are fighting or the washer breaks or the preschooler tries to pour his own juice. This is really the crux of the matter, "for the well being of our children, we feel we must be unfalteringly consistent, reliable, present and attentive, while our creative work calls us to wander half-dazed inside our own head." This is where many women falter and the myths of motherhood make us question our creative lives. Many people consider artistic pursuits to be hobbies and the lack of funding and education reflects how we view it as a society. Good mothers give everything to their children is another myth we face. And then we have the contradicting but equally powerful myth that mothers who have jobs are more important than mothers who stay home. It makes for a messy studio for a mother who is also an artist. Hubbard and other artists are giving voice to the many women who want to be Big Purple Mommies.

Time, money and support are big factors but it's the vision itself that also requires a "room of its own" to quote Miss Dickinson. Along with that reality, Hubbard also found that overall the women she interviewed felt that having children freed their creative spirits and many discovered their true creative calling once they became mothers. Hubbard champions us in her last chapter with these words, "I'm starting to see, as I hope you are too, that what we hold in our two separate hands isn't so separate after all. We couldn't be the mothers we are to our children without the creative work that claims us. And we likely wouldn't be the unique, enraptured creative women that we are without the glorious fact of being mothers."

Printed in Family Connections (2001), an on Inspired Parenting (2001)